Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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