we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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