Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
