someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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