My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
