wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
