Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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