those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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