Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
