I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
