Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
