god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
