i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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