i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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