i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
