i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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