Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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