and she was petting her beer can
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize