I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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