just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
