yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
