yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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