I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
