ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
