i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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