and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
