I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
