We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize