I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Randomize
