they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Found the puke drawer
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
