Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
