just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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