Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
