I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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