There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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