hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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