I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
