Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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