Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
