his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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