did you get engaged???
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
