Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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