She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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