Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
