you would pick up someone in the library
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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