My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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