Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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