Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
