I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just want nice things and good sex
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
