she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
time to smoke my breakfast
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
