Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
