We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
