somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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