so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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