I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
