Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
