I must be too annoying 4 u.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
