how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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