I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Boobs are out for the taking
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
