i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We had sex on a dog bed..
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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