Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize